They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
