Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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