He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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