I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
