Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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