I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
