i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
