You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
