Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
