All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
