nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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