he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
