she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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