im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
