Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
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