I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
