plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
