Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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