I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
