sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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