He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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