so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
