nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
