It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
