i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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