My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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