Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
