you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
