If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say đ
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying âFUCK YOUâ to all my spam emails. Canât tell you how excited I am
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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