Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
