hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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