Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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