Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
