very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
