just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
