My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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