4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Randomize
