stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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