He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
