Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
