Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
