My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
