she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
