Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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