Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
