I'm gonna have a badass scar
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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