Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
