Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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