is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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