i can't believe i had my finger in that
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
