i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
