wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
