The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
