Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
