you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
