i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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